Forget En Primeur - the most authoritative notes from the Bordeaux barrel tastings come from the little-known UK website wine-journal.com

Coveted more than Parker points – claims site editor Neal Martin – the awards do not go to the best wine or most promising newcomer, but to Most Attractive Girls Welcoming Tasters to Châteaux, Best Lavatories at a Château or Best Moustache.

The ‘Most Attractive’ award this year went to Château Lafite: ‘damsels so attractive I had to ask for directions to the tasting room twice,’ with the Best Lavatories won by Pichon Longueville Comtesse-de-Lalande: ‘so fresh, so clean.’

The awards don’t shy away from the negative aspects of En Primeur: the Least Welcoming Château Award went to Beauséjour Duffau-Lagarosse.

‘Sure, I did not make an appointment, but when I asked where I could taste their wine, I was refused an answer,’ says Martin.

Parking arrangements are also attacked, with Worst Parking at a UGC Venue going to Pomerol’s Château La Conseillante.

‘Several contenders here, but the winner is La Conseillante, where I was forced to park 300 miles away on a grass verge that practically buckled the chassis when it became beached on the incline.’

Although probably not Martin’s intention, the ‘best looking girl’ awards have been taken up by desk-bound oenophiles worldwide. eRobertParker.com in particular is filled with their often torrid musings on the subject.

The Wine-Journal En Primeur Awards

Written by Oliver Styles